Newly Postpartum (0-6 weeks)
Grace
When it was time to come home from the hospital I was ready but terrified. I felt much better after my transfusion but still not close to myself. I walked out of the hospital so slowly because I felt awful and with my tear I couldn’t walk normally. Getting in and out of my husband’s truck was a reality check for how hard recovering from my tear was going to be. When we got home I felt scared, overwhelmed and a little lost. Cody asked me if I could ask my mom to come the next day which made me laugh. I was prepared to take a day or two before having any company but when I saw the look on his face when he asked me I knew he was feeling the same way as me. I’m so glad she came the next day because just having her here with us made me feel better. We had a great routine for the few days my mom was here. She made sure we were eating, helping with cleaning/dishes and just having the extra set of hands while you’re trying to figure out your new normal is so nice. She had Parker in her room on her bed with her from 10pm-1am because she could stay awake and watch her while we got a little sleep (I was so scared of having a newborn I wanted someone to be awake to watch her as much as possible lol). I barely slept the first few nights mainly because I stared at her in her bassinet to make sure she was breathing all night long. Sounds crazy, I know, but my fear was so real.
I wasn’t in too much pain from my tear because I made sure I stayed on top of my ibuprofen and tylenol. When it came time for my first postpartum poop I was a wreck. I actually cried on the toilet while Cody cheered me on from outside the door. I didn’t know what to expect and I was so afraid it was going to hurt. Turns out, if you stay on top of your stool softener, it won’t hurt! When you can barely wipe it gets really difficult and time consuming though. Sorry if that’s TMI but it’s the truth. Once friends had heard how bad I tore they started sending me things or dropping things at my door to help which was very sweet. I also was overwhelmed when my milk came in. My boobs got giant and hard and it was the weirdest feeling ever. I was worried that this was what my life was going to be like the entirety of breastfeeding, but I was relieved when I hit 6 weeks and my supply had regulated. I didn’t realize it would take time for my body to figure out my supply because no one had told me it could be a wild ride at first. We also got Parker’s tongue tie clipped when she was three weeks old so once she retrained her mouth for feeding it was so much better. She was able to get more milk and it stopped hurting my left side. This was a weird thing I didn’t know would happen but I got some serious weird smelling B.O. for the first 6 weeks. When I looked it up, it said that it was from hormones being expelled so just know if that happens to you, it’s normal!
I found having pads, tucks pads, and peri bottles in each bathroom in my house was very helpful. Friends sent me sitz bath salts, padsicles, perineal spray, and Dermaplast spray. I was too tender to sit in a bathtub for my sitz baths so I put some salt in a peri bottle and that helped me feel clean and soothed. I also recommend having an inflatable donut laying around because it’s hard sitting so much. You might leak milk in the night so having a towel to sleep on can be helpful. I used the Huckleberry app to track Parker’s pees, poops, and feeds which was extremely helpful. I highly recommend that app or using whichever one you like. There’s a timer so you can see how long feeds are and you can record it based on which side you feed on (or fed on last) so you don’t have to try to remember which side you’re on when you go to feed next. My husband logged into my account on his phone so if he fed her a bottle he could record ounces or if he changed her diaper he could enter it in as well. It was nice because if I was taking a nap I could wake up and know exactly where she was at with feeding or diapers. It was also helpful at Parker’s first few appointments because the docs will ask you how many dirty diapers baby has in a day. Another awesome thing our friends did was send us uber eats gift cards or drop food by.
It can be scary and overwhelming but I promise things will settle down and you will start to get the hang of it. My advice is to just take things one day at a time. Resting as much as you can will also speed up recovery so I also recommend using that time in the first few days postpartum to lay low and just hang with your sweet little babe.
Meesh
Wow- those first weeks home with your baby is such a blur. Even looking back and trying to remember all the wonderful and hard things about that time is hard because my brian and body were in such a fog. Coming home as a new mom and just having birthed a child is exhausting, yet so fulfilling. Our family and friends were such an amazing support system for us to feel semi-normal during this crazy time. Here are a few things that stick out to me:
1.The Baby Blues: I cried ALL THE TIME. I cried because I was so happy to finally have Thea. I cried because Loren said something nice to me. I cried because she wouldn't stop crying. I cried because I felt overwhelmed.I cried because I couldn't stop crying. At one point, my husband was starting to get concerned and we brought it up to my OB at my check up. She informed me that the baby blues were a completely normal thing as our hormones start to balance out. She did suggest Loren and I keep tabs on it and if it gets worse to make an appointment immediately. After about 3 weeks, I was leveled out but then the anxiety kicked in (see our PPD/PPA post on that!). Just talking to my friends and husband and honestly, time, helped resolve this one.
2. Postpartum Baby Bods: As you know, after birthing a child, whether you had a c-section or vaginal, you will bleed for about 4-6 weeks. I had a second degree tear, and although not horrible, it was still pretty uncomfortable to sit and move around that first week. I loved the Freda Mom home kit that comes with the padcicles, disposable undies, foam and cooling wipes. I personally didn't like Dermaplast as it burned so I didn't use it! I think the hardest part of the postpartum bleeding is that first week (and the first PP POOP! AHHH). But after that it was more like an annoying period, with bad cramps that lasted for 6 weeks.
3. Sleep Schedules for Mom & Dad: Those first 4-6 weeks wreak havoc on your schedule. We took Mon and Joey’s approach and had night shifts. I always fall asleep early so I took the early shift to sleep. I slept from around 8/9p-1a which then Loren would sleep 1a-7a-ish. I would fall back asleep after Loren came to bed but was on duty to get up with Thea when she woke up. We did this until she started sleeping about 3+ hour stretches. This worked for us because I wasn't breastfeeding or pumping (after week 3). So we could each feed her with formula.
4. Feeding: I had a breast reduction in 2020 and was warned that breastfeeding could be difficult for me. In the hospital my nurses and doctors knew of this and we still tried breastfeeding and it HURT. I didn’t think she was getting anything and knowing what I know now, I wish I had just committed to formula from the start. At Thea’s 2 day old appointment she had already lost 10% and was SO HUNGRY. Talk about mom-guilt. We started supplementing with formula which is where she got 99% of her nutrients. I was encouraged to keep trying breastfeeding and pumping to hopefully get my milk to come up but after 3 weeks of pain and crying, I called it. I was only making ½ an ounce from both breasts. I was exhausted and discouraged and breastfeeding isn't this magical experience my friends had and I was sad, but okay with that. Once we figured out our formula and bottle situation (Thea was SO picky) at around 4 weeks my level of stress significantly dimished. You can read more about my experience in our Breastfeeding and Formula post!
Mon
The boys were in the NICU for two weeks (link to nicu post). That time was so emotionally turbulent for me I don’t really remember any of the other parts like my physical health. So I’ll jump to bringing them home. We are super blessed to have a lot of family support close by and so we had grandparents helping right away. After that first night of them being home and getting no help we knew we’d need reinforcements. Sleep deprivation is no joke. Mine and Joey parents would take turns helping us out because the twins just weren’t sleeping for long stretches and even when they were we needed to wake them up to feed them to keep their weight up.
On top of all that I was still healing physically from my c section and trying to do short walks and still needing to take it easy. I had moved to just Advil as pain relief but it was still pretty uncomfortable for awhile and certain positions would send stabbing pain. I was also having extreme night sweats. I started sleeping on a towel they were so bad. I remember thinking, “will my body ever be normal again?” It just felt so out of control with all the hormones and what not. I did start to feel better after the first six weeks but I don’t know if I felt normal again until about a year out. It was a really overwhelming time for sure. Being new parents and not really having any idea what we were doing on top of having twins was a complete whirlwind. I’m so glad we had a family around to support us.
